1. 于是邻居的各种问候祖先的声音在楼道间响彻了整整一下午。

1. Thus, the various voices of neighbors greeting their ancestors echoed through the corridor all afternoon.

2. 顾客：“我理一次发，你竟收我5元钱，我头上几乎没有头发呀！收 钱大多了。” 理发师：“不多，不多，我收您的钱不是因为剪头发，而是因为找头 发来剪，花了我不少时间啊！”

Customer: "I got a haircut, and you charged me 5 yuan! I almost don't have any hair on my head! That's too much money!" Hairdresser: "Not at all, not at all. I'm not charging you for the haircut itself, but for finding hair to cut, which took me quite a bit of time!"

3. 一男要跳楼，其妻大喊道：“亲爱的别冲动，我们的路还长着呢！”

3. A man was about to jump off the building, and his wife shouted, "Dear, don't act impulsively, our journey is still long!"

4. 那个人苦苦哀求，无济于事，于是很气愤地说：“那好吧，飞机你来开吧！”

4. The person pleaded tirelessly, but it was to no avail, and then, feeling very angry, said, "Alright then, you can take the plane!"

5. 61一女在博客上哭诉，说是上街碰到了老公的老师才知道，老公给女儿取得名字是他初恋的名字。并说一直知道自己老公曾经很爱初恋，后来初恋出国才不了了之。和自己认识老公一直很好，本以为自己是最幸福的人，现在才知道，原来老公一直没忘记初恋。一网友回到：其实你老公是想告诉初恋：我。。。

5. A woman cried out on her blog, saying that she only found out when she ran into her husband's teacher on the street that her husband had given their daughter the name of his first love. She also said that she always knew her husband had deeply loved his first love, and that it ended when the first love went abroad. She thought she was the happiest person, only to find out now that her husband had never forgotten his first love. A netizen replied: Actually, your husband wants to tell his first love: I...

6. 包笑做的事情很滑稽，得到滑稽先生的绰号。他是在酒店里当伙计的。 一天早上，他去挂招牌，一不小心，招牌跌得成两半，主人很生气地 说：“怎么这样粗心，该死！” 滑稽先生却不慌不忙地说：“主人：你快要开分店了，这是很好的预 兆呀！恭喜你！”主人就笑起来了。

6. Bao Xiao does comical things and has earned the nickname "Comical Mister." He works as a waiter in a hotel. One morning, when he went to hang the signboard, he accidentally dropped it, and it fell into two pieces. The owner was very angry and said, "How could you be so careless, you damned thing!" But Comical Mister calmly replied, "Master: You're about to open a branch store, and this is a great omen! Congratulations to you!" The owner then laughed.

7. 还记得上中学的时候，有次学校内感冒病毒流行，因为是寄宿制的，所以传染的速度极快，没几天就有50多号人发烧不退，学校赶紧把体育馆腾出来，所有患者都搬进去。我班里有个家伙非常的羡慕，因为发烧的不用上课了。于是某天上午他跑去医务室量体温，悄悄含了一口温水在嘴里，体温表拿出来一看395度，结果他就如愿住进了体育馆的隔离区。不料，在他进去的当天下午，学校担心控制不住病情，就宣布全校放假5天。于是当我拎着行李箱经过体育馆的时候，就看到那家伙一脸哀怨的站在铁窗口看着我们。。。。。。

7. Remember when we were in middle school, there was an outbreak of the flu virus in the school. Since it was a boarding school, the spread was extremely fast, and within a few days, more than 50 people had a fever that wouldn't go away. The school quickly cleared out the gymnasium and moved all the patients in. There was a guy in my class who was very envious because those with a fever didn't have to go to class. So one morning, he went to the medical room to take his temperature, quietly swallowed a sip of warm water in his mouth, and when he took out the thermometer, it showed 39.5 degrees. As a result, he was able to move into the isolation area in the gymnasium as he wished. But unfortunately, on the same afternoon he entered, the school, worried about not being able to control the situation, announced a 5-day school holiday for the entire school. So when I was carrying my suitcase past the gymnasium, I saw that guy looking at us with a face full of resentment through the iron window...

8. 开车的大妈说：“喔！喔！那是几号公路而不是限速喔！”

8. The elderly woman driving said, "Oh! Oh! That's not a speed limit, it's the highway number!"

9. 于是我果断的找了个隐蔽的墙角躲着，在凛冽的寒风中站了将近半个小时…在这半个小时中，我时不时的探出一只眼睛来偷偷看看老鹰还在不在，在…在…在…还在…

9. So I resolutely found a concealed corner of a wall to hide in, standing in the piercing cold wind for nearly half an hour... During these half an hour, I occasionally peeked out with an eye to sneak a glance at whether the eagle was still there, and it was... and it was... and it was... still there...

10. “这粥怎么这么稀啊！一点味也没有，还要2毛钱一碗，太坑人了。” “你不知道物以稀为贵嘛！2毛钱一大碗，还便宜了你呢。”

10. "How come this porridge is so thin! It doesn't taste of anything at all, and it costs 2 cents a bowl, too expensive." "You don't know that things are more valuable when they are scarce, do you? A big bowl for 2 cents, you're actually getting a good deal."

11. 三丰有一天上班迟到了，经理问他为什么迟到时，他说：“今天早晨刷牙的时候，一着急，

11. One day, Sanfeng was late for work. When the manager asked him why he was late, he said, "This morning, when I was brushing my teeth, I was in a hurry..."

12. 47初中时，学校离家近，每次放小假我都步行回家。

12. When I was in junior high school, the school was close to home, and every time I had a short holiday, I would walk home.

13. 张三丰先生买了一双新鞋却不穿。一星期后我问他：“你为什么

13. Master Zhang Sanfeng bought a pair of new shoes but did not wear them. A week later, I asked him, "Why don't you wear the new shoes you bought?"

14. 11初中时有次在房间用耳机听摇滚，只穿了一条内裤，背对着房门坐着无意中硬了，就把从内裤里拿出来打节奏，玩着玩着越来越硬，正得意时，发现我爸不知道什么时候站在后面了 T_T

14. When I was in 8th grade, I was listening to rock music in my room with headphones on, wearing only my underwear. Sitting with my back to the door, I accidentally got an erection. I took it out of my underwear to keep a rhythm, and as I played with it, it got harder and harder. I was quite proud of myself when suddenly, I realized that my dad had been standing behind me the whole time... T_T

15. 握紧枪兄弟，别发抖。

15. Hold tight, my gun brothers, don't tremble.

16. 小猪成立俱乐部，说：会员要叫昵称，叫我小猪猪！小狗：叫我小狗狗！小猫：叫我小猫猫！小鸡红着脸，故做镇静的说：真没意思，先走一步！

16. The little pig founded a club and said, "Members should have nicknames, call me Little Piglet!" The little dog: Call me Little Doggy! The little cat: Call me Little Kitten! The little chick blushed and pretended to be calm and said, "This is really boring, I'll leave first!"

17. 这哥们：“来的时候好好的，谁知道回去怎么多了这么多沟"

17. This guy: "He was fine when he came, but who knows how many ditches he found on his way back."

18. 顾客从药店买药刚出来，药店伙计就急匆匆地追了上来。

18. As the customer just left the pharmacy with the medicine, the pharmacy clerk hurriedly chased after him.

19. “爸爸，这不是我的通知书，是我从您的旧箱子里找到的。”

19. "Dad, this is not my admission notice; it's something I found in your old box."

20. 神父下班后，发现它停在后院的脚踏车不见了！

20. After work, the priest found that the bicycle parked in the backyard had disappeared!

21. 小白兔很高兴 是的是的我是的！！！

21. Little White Rabbit is very happy! Yes, yes, it's me!!!

22. 19MM坐公交车，穿的很紧的牛仔短裤，身后小偷慢慢向她靠近。终于看到公交车上的猥琐男啦，不对，小偷用手靠近宝贝的pp，把屁兜的手机抽了出来，MM猛然转头吼：“给我插回去，我那这么紧，你以为拔出来我会不知道啊！”大家憋的好辛苦…

22. The 19-year-old girl took the bus wearing very tight denim shorts, and a thief was slowly approaching her from behind. Finally, she saw the pervert on the bus, but the thief reached out with his hand to the girl's buttocks, pulling out the phone from her buttock pouch. The girl suddenly turned around and shouted, "Put it back in, it's so tight there, do you think I wouldn't notice if you pulled it out?" Everyone was holding back so hard...

23. 警察说：“你的车我已经给你开到了门口，现在，你把警车还给我吧”

23. The police officer said, "I've parked your car at the door. Now, please return the police car to me."

24. 小白兔说大灰狼大灰狼 你快问我是不是小白兔

24. The little white rabbit says, "Big gray wolf, big gray wolf, quick, ask me if I'm the little white rabbit."

25. 据说……教务看到申请表上“补办原因”一栏里HLL地填了“被猴子抢了”，憋到内伤

25. It is said that the educational administration was so amused by seeing "Reason for Replacement" on the application form filled in with "stolen by monkeys" that they couldn't help but feel hurt inside.

26. 一位顾客到一家大酒家吃饭，买了一盘价格4元5角的“金鸡炸竹 笋”，可盘子里连一小块鸡皮也没看见。顾客很扫兴地端着菜走到经理跟 前说：“同志，请借一只放大镜。” “做什么用？”经理不解地问。 顾客回答说：“我要在竹林里寻找那只失踪的金鸡。”

26. A customer went to a large restaurant for a meal and bought a dish of "Golden Chicken Fried Bamboo Shoots" priced at 4 yuan and 50 jiao. However, not even a small piece of chicken skin could be seen in the dish. The customer was quite disappointed and carried the dish to the manager and said, "Comrade, could I borrow a magnifying glass?" The manager asked in confusion, "What for?" The customer replied, "I want to look for the missing golden chicken in the bamboo forest."

27. 爸爸妈妈都逃出来了，只剩下一个儿子还在里面。

27. Both parents have escaped, leaving only one son still inside.

28. 注意压水花。

28. Pay attention to the water spray.

29. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

29. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The text provided is a sequence number followed by a horizontal line (--------------------------------------------------------------------------------). This seems to be a heading or separator used in a document or list, and as it is, there is no actual content to translate into English. The sequence number "29" remains the same in English, and the horizontal line is also a universal symbol and does not require translation.

30. 按下了，不一般，我喜欢。

30. Pressed it, not ordinary, I like it.

31. 偶小时侯吃饭不老实,一老农为了教育我,对我说:六零年苦呀,没饭吃,抠出来的鼻屎从来不扔的

31. When I was a child, I wasn't honest during meals. An old farmer, in order to educate me, said to me: "It was hard in 1960, there was no food to eat, and the snot I picked out never got thrown away.

32. ，拿瓶可乐给我。老公从书房出来给我拿了一瓶，又跑回书房。这时，五岁的女儿也喊

32. Hand me a bottle of cola. My husband came out of the study room and handed me a bottle, then ran back to the study room. At this time, my five-year-old daughter also shouted...

33. 三丰先生买了一台电脑，抱回家后按入网说明逐次设置，然后兴奋地鼠标一点，上网了！咦？

33. Master Sanfeng bought a computer, brought it home, followed the instructions to set it up step by step, then excitedly clicked the mouse, and was online! Huh?

34. 46一日，一位在北京堵车长达几小时的朋友终于无法忍受，他暴跳如雷的打开车门，拉开后备箱，从里面拿出一根长长的木棍。所有堵车的人吃惊的看着他，只见他大骂着把地上一只蜗牛敲的粉碎，一边敲一边骂着：“看你还敢跟踪我！

34. On the 46th day, a friend who had been stuck in traffic in Beijing for several hours finally couldn't stand it any longer. He flew into a rage, flung open the car door, opened the trunk, and pulled out a long wooden stick. The other people stuck in traffic were startled as they watched him骂骂咧咧地用木棍把地上的一只蜗牛砸得粉碎，一边敲一边骂着：“看你还敢跟踪我！”

35. 老大、老二乘坐飞机，老二晕机，不停呕吐。一袋吐满，老大只好去取袋子， 等他回来时，发觉全机人都在不停呕吐。老大问其原因，老二说：“我看到这只袋子也吐满了， 只好又喝进去了半袋，结果他们就全吐了。” 如果您看到现在还没吐的话，那我不得不承认你是个高手，那我要出绝招了

35. The elder brother and the second brother were traveling by plane. The second brother suffered from motion sickness and kept vomiting. When one bag was filled with vomit, the elder brother had to go and fetch it. When he came back, he found that everyone on the plane was vomiting continuously. The elder brother asked the reason, and the second brother said, "I saw that this bag was also full of vomit, so I had to drink half of it back, and then everyone started vomiting." If you haven't vomited yet, then I have to admit that you're a master; now, I'll have to pull out a big gun.

36. 32无聊的时候在vs上面玩玩dota，有一次遇见一个中文叫“他爸爸”，于是每次他被杀系统就会出现：XXX杀死了他爸爸。然后他后面就很少死过。

36. When bored, I play Dota on VS, and once I encountered a Chinese player named "He's Dad." Whenever he was killed, the system would display: "XXX killed He's Dad." After that, he rarely died anymore.

37. 一位70岁的大妈开着一部车载着3个也是大妈级的老人缓缓的开在省道上。交通警察把她拦下来说：“大妈，你开这么慢，会影响交通的。”

37. A 70-year-old elderly woman was driving a car with three other elderly women, all in their 70s, and they were driving slowly on the provincial highway. A traffic police officer pulled her over and said, "Auntie, you're driving so slowly, it will affect traffic."

38. 妈妈又说， “都失火了还穿什么袜子”

38. Mother said again, "What's the point of wearing socks when there's a fire everywhere?"

39. 动动手，就能使下一个人用的放心;动动手，就能使卫生间更整洁。

39. Take a moment to help, and the next person will use it with confidence; take a moment to help, and make the bathroom cleaner.

40. 那天我开车时测速电子眼闪了我一下，但我绝对没有超速，于是我倒回去以更慢的速度经过那个电子眼，它又闪了。我很疑惑，又试了一次，它果然又闪了，我觉得好玩，我就以龟速又试了一次。后来我收到5张罚单，因为没有系安全带。。。

40. That day, when I was driving, the speed camera flashed me, but I was absolutely not speeding, so I drove back past the camera at a slower speed, and it flashed again. I was puzzled, so I tried it again, and it flashed again. I found it amusing, so I tried it again at a snail's pace. Later, I received 5 traffic fines because I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt...

41. 密码错误！重新设置，还是密码错误。无奈蹬车去电脑行求教。

41. Password error! Re-set the password, still password error. Helplessly, I got on the bike and went to the computer shop for help.

42. 一个消化不良的病人向医生抱怨：我近来很不正常，吃什么拉什么，吃黄瓜拉黄瓜,吃西瓜拉西瓜，怎样才能恢复正常呢？医生沉默片刻，那你只能吃屎了。

42. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: "I've been feeling very abnormal lately. Whatever I eat, I just end up with it in my stool. I eat cucumbers and I have cucumber in my stool, I eat watermelons and I have watermelons in my stool. How can I get back to normal?" The doctor was silent for a moment, then replied, "Then you can only eat shit."

43. 医师：比如说库克船长曾环游世界三次，不幸在其中的一次他去逝了，请问是哪一次？

43. Doctor: For example, Captain Cook circumnavigated the world three times. Unfortunately, he passed away during one of those voyages. Which one was it?

44. 顾客：“你在街头卖食品，应该加一个防尘罩。” 售货员：“用不着，我卖都是风味乡土小吃。”

44. Customer: "You should add a dust cover if you're selling food on the street." Salesperson: "No need, the food I sell are all local flavor snacks."

45. 服务员笑着说道：“您弄错了，先生。那是电梯。”

45. The waiter smiled and said, "You're mistaken, sir. That's the elevator."

46. “请把这个处方收好。每天早上服一次，连服三天。”

46. "Please keep this prescription. Take it once a day in the morning, and continue for three days."

47. 49对面的小帅哥吃面真浪费。面条扒拉两口就走人。于是我正义的把那碗面倒给路边看起来很饿的野猫。一会儿，小帅哥回来了，手里拿着一瓶水。一脸狐疑的看着那个空碗…那一刻，我只想当个埋头吃面的路人甲…

47. The handsome guy opposite was so wasteful eating noodles. He just stirred them with two sticks and left. So I, with a sense of justice, poured the bowl of noodles into the street where a starving stray cat looked very hungry. Soon, the handsome guy came back, holding a bottle of water. He looked suspiciously at the empty bowl... At that moment, all I wanted to be was an ordinary passerby buried in his noodles...

48. 56晚上，我和女儿在客厅看电视，老公在书房上网，我有点渴了，却不想动，就说：老公

48. On the evening of the 56th, my daughter and I were watching TV in the living room while my husband was surfing the internet in the study. I felt a bit thirsty but didn't feel like moving, so I said, "Honey..."

49. 高考化学题:A和B可以相互转化,B在沸水中生成C,C在空气中可以氧化成D,D有

49. High School Chemistry Question: A and B can transform into each other. B can generate C in boiling water, C can be oxidized into D in the air, and D has...

50. 一位公司的老板应酬后出事了，打电话叫来了律师，原来是被交警扣下了！

50. The boss of a company had an accident after entertaining, and he called a lawyer. It turned out that he was detained by the traffic police!

51. 有一天，老大和老二又去戏院看戏，看到中途二人为情节发展而争执起来， 并为此打赌。老大指着前边摆的一排痰盂说：“输的人要喝一口那里边的东西。 ”不幸，老大输了，于是老大皱着眉头喝了一口。二人接着赌下边的情节，这次，老二输了。 只见老二抱起一个痰盂，咕咚咕咚连喝了十五大口。老大大惊失色，佩服的五体投地，对老二说 “你太了不起了，居然能连喝十五大口！” 老二摇摇头，“不是我想喝，那个痰盂里的痰太浓，我实在咬不断。

51. One day, the elder brother and the second brother went to the theater to watch a play. Halfway through, they argued about the plot development and even bet on it. The elder brother pointed to a row of ashtrays in front of them and said, "The loser has to take a sip of what's in it." Unfortunately, the elder brother lost and, with a frown, he took a sip. They then bet on the next part of the plot, and this time, the second brother lost. The second brother picked up an ashtray and downed it with a gulp, drinking a total of fifteen big gulps. The elder brother was so startled that he was in awe, and said to the second brother, "You're amazing, you actually managed to drink fifteen big gulps!" The second brother shook his head, "I didn't want to drink; the phlegm in the ashtray was too thick, I couldn't bite through it."

52. 突然，一位棋手说：“原则上我是反对在下棋时说话的，但是我现在不得不开口问：究竟我们谁该走下一步棋了？”

52. Suddenly, a player said, "In principle, I am against speaking while playing chess, but I have to open my mouth now and ask: Who should take the next move?"

53. 12老师：“大雄，老师给你90元，你再去跟胖虎借10元，这样你总共有多少钱？”

53. 12 Teacher: "Daiyou, the teacher gives you 90 yuan, and then you borrow another 10 yuan from Panghu. How much money do you have in total?"

54. 干干净净牌冲刷器，用过就知道。

54. The Clean Clean brush, you'll know it once you use it.

55. 中学时物理老师上课讲摩擦生电说：我们冬天的时候脱毛衣。毛衣都会嚓嚓响。还有电光。但是夏天就不会这样。为什么呢？

55. In middle school, our physics teacher explained the phenomenon of static electricity generated by friction during class: "When we take off our sweaters in winter, they all make a crackling sound and even produce sparks. But this doesn't happen in summer. Why is that?"

56. 甲：人家十全十美，你怎么说也是十全八美~~ 乙：那我是缺哪两美？甲：内在美和外在美…… 乙：…………

56. A: They are perfect in every way, and you say you are perfect in eight ways~~ B: So, what are the two beauties I lack? A: Inner beauty and outer beauty... B: ...

57. 27今天情人节，有个暗恋已久的MM打电话给我：“来我家吧，没人！” 我兴奋的狂奔而去！！！！！！！敲了一个多小时的门，发现真的没人……

57. Today is Valentine's Day, and a MM who I have had a secret crush on for a long time called me: "Come to my house, there's no one!" I rushed off excitedly!!!!!!! Knocked on the door for over an hour, only to find out that there really was no one there...

58. 三丰乡下的亲戚想向三丰借头驴子拉磨，于是托人给三丰送去一封借驴的信。三丰先生正陪着客人，怕客人知道自己不识字，便装模作样地看信。他一边看，一边不住地点头，然后抬头对来人说：“知道了，过一会我自己去好了。”

58. A relative from Sanfeng's countryside wanted to borrow a donkey from Sanfeng to pull a millstone, so they sent a letter of borrowing a donkey to Sanfeng through an intermediary. Mr. Sanfeng was entertaining guests at the time and was afraid the guests would know he couldn't read, so he made a show of looking at the letter. As he read, he kept nodding his head continuously, then looked up at the person who came and said, "I understand, I'll go myself in a while."

59. 37本来抱着大哭一场的念头去观摩将爱情进行到底，结果从头笑到尾。波尔多那一场戏，徐静蕾对李亚鹏说：“带我走吧。” 李亚鹏答：“大象怎么办？”（大象是徐静蕾的儿子）。 结果您猜怎么着？邻座一个观众很严肃的说：装冰箱呀！

59. 37 originally went to watch "Love in the Final Stretch" with the intention of having a good cry, but ended up laughing from start to finish. In the Bordeaux scene, Xu Jinglei said to Li Yapeng, "Take me with you." Li Yapeng replied, "What about the elephant?" (The elephant is Xu Jinglei's son). Guess what happened? A serious audience member sitting next to them said, "Put it in the refrigerator!"

60. 80今天在办公室闲的没事，再玩一块磁铁。被领导看着了，领导伸手就来拿，结果“嗖”的一下，磁铁吸在了领导的戒指上面，好尴尬……

60. Today, being idle in the office with nothing to do, I decided to play with a magnet. As luck would have it, my leader saw me and reached out to grab it, only to have the magnet "whizz" and stick to the leader's ring, resulting in a very embarrassing situation...

61. 64过马路的时候遇上红灯了，朋友意欲前行，我叫住他：“灯，等灯等灯！”朋友回过头来鄙夷的对我说：“就你有英特尔啊！”

61. While crossing the road, I encountered a red light. My friend wanted to proceed, but I called him back: "Traffic light, wait, wait for the light!" My friend turned back and disdainfully said to me: "Only you have Intel!"

62. “阁下驾驶汽车时，如果时速保持30公里左右，可以沿途欣赏

62. "If you drive your car at a speed of around 30 kilometers per hour, you can enjoy the scenery along the way."

63. 卫生用品包好再扔，体谅打扫者的辛劳。

63. Please wrap up hygiene products before discarding them, showing consideration for the cleaner's hard work.

64. 曾经在初中。一次自习。在那静谧而祥和的教室里，突然后面传来“噗！”地一声屁响，群众纷纷回头，一个姐们奔放地迎接着众人的注视，说：我放的！然后大家转过去了。两分钟后，后面再次传来一声音色类似的“噗！”，群众都直接回头望向那姐们，姐们慈祥地看着大家，赞许地点了点头，说：你们猜对了。

64. Once in junior high school, during a self-study session. In that quiet and peaceful classroom, suddenly a "pop!" sound of a fart came from behind. The students turned around en masse, and one of the girls boldly embraced the attention, saying, "That was me!" Then everyone turned back. Two minutes later, another sound similar to "pop!" was heard from behind, and the students directly turned around to look at that girl. The girl looked kindly at everyone, nodded approvingly, and said, "You guessed right."

65. 顾客：“**，你这墙上贴着：顾客就是上帝，但你服务态度不是这 样，岂不是言行不一吗？” 服务员：“那是经理贴的，我是无神论者，根本不信上帝。”

65. Customer: "Hey, it says on your wall: 'The customer is king,' but your attitude towards service isn't like that, isn't that a contradiction between words and actions?" Waiter: "That was posted by the manager. I am an atheist, and I don't believe in God at all."

66. 有人撒你一身油，对你说：别担心，有奥妙全自动，你咋办——打到他肾亏，对他说“别担心，有六味地黄丸，治肾亏，不含糖。”

66. Someone splashes you with oil and tells you, "Don't worry, there's the Ouyang Automatic," what do you do—hit him with kidney deficiency, and say to him, "Don't worry, there's the Six-Flavor Ouyang Pill, it cures kidney deficiency, and it doesn't contain sugar."

67. 到了第二天，有人来敲他家的门，正是昨天的那个警察。他的酒现在已经醒了，自然理直气壮的质问警察：“你来干什么？有什么事？”

67. On the second day, someone knocked on his door, and it was the same police officer from yesterday. His alcohol had now worn off, and he naturally questioned the police officer with confidence: "What do you want? What's the matter?"

68. 48大学里有间教室，里面的挂钟有问题，只要被东西敲到就会愈走愈快，敲一次就快5分钟。一天教授上课，发现同学们都趁他在黑板上写字的时候用橡皮丢挂钟，但教授却不声张，依旧按钟上下课。没过多久，期末考试到了，大伙都埋头考试，只见教授拿着黑板擦在那儿练习丢钟。

68. In a university with 48 classrooms, there was a classroom with a problematic wall clock. Every time it was struck by something, it would go faster and faster, speeding up by 5 minutes with each strike. One day, while the professor was teaching, he noticed that the students were throwing erasers at the clock while he was writing on the blackboard, but he kept silent and continued to use the clock for starting and ending the class. Soon, the end-of-term exams arrived, and everyone was immersed in the exams. Then, the professor was seen practicing throwing the clock with a blackboard eraser.

69. 26有个兄弟追女朋友，每天早上一包心形饼干和一瓶牛奶。坚持不懈，终于到手。

69. One brother courted his girlfriend by sending her a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk every morning. persistent, he finally succeeded.

70. 76听来的，某人去东北出差，在饭馆要啤酒，服务员问，您要常温的还是冷藏的？

70.76 He heard that someone went on a business trip to Northeast China and ordered beer in a restaurant. The server asked, "Do you want it at room temperature or chilled?"

71. 一家珠宝店被盗，当警察赶到现场时，发现一个醉鬼躺在那里，为了弄清珠宝的去向，警察找来了一桶冷水，一边将醉鬼的头按入水中，一边问：“你看到那些珠宝了吗？”

71. A jewelry store was robbed. When the police arrived at the scene, they found a drunkard lying there. To find out where the jewelry went, the police brought a bucket of cold water and while they submerged the drunkard's head in it, they asked, "Did you see those jewels?"

72. 两位棋手一动不动地在棋盘前已经沉默地坐了五个钟头了。他们全神贯注地盯着每粒棋子。

72. The two chess players have been sitting silently in front of the chessboard without moving for five hours. They are fully focused on every single chess piece.

73. 大爷说：“我就做个汤，用不着那么多。”说完就去掉了个儿最大的那个西红柿。

73. The old man said, "I'll just make a soup, there's no need for so many." After saying that, he removed the largest tomato.

74. 顾客：“这电视机修理后，画面怎么总摇晃？” 修理人员：“那你就外行了，那是在地震时拍的片子。”

74. Customer: "After the TV was repaired, why does the picture always shake?" Technician: "That's because you're not knowledgeable; that footage was taken during an earthquake."

75. “当然不能”交通警察回答，“可是这位先生跪在马路中间要把涂在马路中央的那条白线卷起来。”

75. "Of course not," the traffic policeman replied, "but this gentleman is kneeling in the middle of the road to roll up the white line painted in the center of the road."

76. 天坐公交车，有一站司机问了一句：“关后门了啊！”没人回答，于是他就关了后门，起步。这是车厢里发出一个女生弱弱的一声：“开门！”司机恼怒地刹车，咣当打开后门，吼道：“要下快下！”车上人都看着后门，半天却没有人下，面面相觑不知怎么回事。 这时车载电视里的女人又发出一声：“开门啊！”

76. Taking the bus, the driver asked a question at a stop: "Did you close the rear door?" No one replied, so he closed the rear door and started off. Then a soft voice from inside the bus said, "Open the door!" The driver became angry and braked, slammed the rear door open, and shouted, "Get off if you want to!" Everyone on the bus was looking at the rear door, but after a long while, no one got off, and they just stared at each other in confusion. At this time, the woman on the in-car TV said again, "Open the door!"